This week I are been mostly...

Worrying about families that get a KFC family bucket for dinner, and their skin. (this is vaguely smirksome: KFC facts and Fixshun)

(also wondering why when you Google image search KFC family bucket you get pictures of Russell Brand)

Being furious that the Tory's are:
A) Taxing my mum's state pension 46%
B) Selling off Britain's ancient forests
C) a bunch of massive c*nts


Wishing my landlord wasn't such a big part of my life. He looks like a tortoise who's been pulled out of his shell and thrown at a bad suit. His English is really basic so trying to reason with him using sentences like 'I think you should take into account the duration and severity of the disruption' just don't rinse.  He looks at you blankly and then goes 'what are you meaning?' to which I have to reply 'we want rent to be cheaply please because noise men here.' I wouldn't mind that but I really craft my moaning sentences, ya know?

POP

Throwing away jeans because I can't get them over my knees, I can't do them up, or the arse has fallen out of them. Be warned fiances  out there, when you get married your arse expands and will burst out of your jeans at inopportune moments (Playing pick up the box with your face).

Wishing that time would slow right down and give everyone a free week to sit quietly and finish articles for KnockBack.

Missing a donkey called Elvis and everything he and his noise represented.

Asking people who would win a fight between a donkey and a bee. And knowing the answer having witnessed exactly that fight last week (best of three, Bee wins by a country mile, literally).