caps LOCK

ROASTING COFFEE SMELLS LIKE TOAST

I can totally understand why someone would punch a goose in the face

I SAW A CAT FALL OFF A JEEP

A gecko peed on a New Yorker

ROOSTERS ARE STUPID

Lava cracks when you walk on it (and makes a truly spectacular noise)

WAVES CRASHING ARE GOOD AND LOUD

When you watch the sunset from the tallest mountain on the planet, you can see the horizon from ear to ear. That's the first time I've nearly fallen off the world (while relatively sober).

THERE IS SUGAR IN EVERYTHING

Bubba Gump's is an awful themed ripoff nightmare

DON'T EVER READ 'THE BONES' BY SETH GREENLAND IT IS UTTER SHIT

I'm still itchy as hell.