Farming in Hawaii

Things I want that I never thought I would want so much.
1. A pair of white linen trousers
2. A pair of sturdy hiking boots
3. A light linen cardigan
4. A utility belt
5. A baseball cap
6. Conversation with a group of people who have a firm grasp of sarcasm and its merits
7. A toilet with level 3 privacy (minimum)
8. A CAMERA
9. A local bar


Things I have that I have never had before.
1. A cabin up a mountain
2. A cabin with nothing but mesh for windows
3. A toilet with mesh for windows (level 0 privacy)
4. The company of several billion insects
5. The company of free roaming cows, geese, chickens, mystery chickens, Turduckens (is it a turkey? Is it a duck? No it's a massive winged gobble faced aggressive) a cat, several dogs, at least 20,000 coffee trees, Wwoofers (a new breed to be sure), geckos, chameleons (they get angry if you pick them up, but they're pretty cute when angered). All the spiders (mostly gold), a hippie, an idiot, two New Yorkers and a vast array of locals.  
6. The blood of at least 30 coffee trees on my hands (also the blood of at least 5 mosquitoes, but I think it was my blood so screw them)
7. A bunch of hand-harvested bananas
8. A machete
9. 2 hand picked pumpkins
10. Hand picked oranges, limes, grapefruit and guava
11. A frightening Hawaiian boss (only frightening when you've stopped chopping down coffee trees with a handsaw and taken the gator to the citrus orchard 2 miles away)
12. Achey arms
13. A group of nearly sort of friends (colleagues) who don't get sarcasm at all, ever.

Sample chat:

We are outside the workers cabin having breakfast and homegrown organic coffee, the guy who is a trained massage therapist and physiotherapist has bust his knee and it's swollen and achey.
Him: It hurts a lot but I don't think it's torn
Me: If only we had a qualified massage therapist
Josh: Yeah, or someone who knew about physio
Him: The trouble is that's me
Us: ...
Him: My knee hurts.


Yikes.


Also I got bitten about 40 times, mostly on my legs, I have reacted badly, it's ugly as fuck. I also have several on my back and shoulders a couple on my neck and a biggie on my face.
Oh and a lizard fell on me.
Oh and we haven't been anywhere near a beach.
Oh and we're renting a car this weekend, but it's with two young Americans and they want to go on a double hike, once to the top of a mountain to look at stars, and then to a lava flow, to walk on lava, at night, to the ocean, for at least 2 hours.

If I was a hippie or an insect (or a cow, goose, cat, lizard, turducken or outdoorsy type) I would be in heaven right now.

The view from our mesh cabin though, that is really something.

Consider yourselves updated.

No photos. It hurts.